I’m baack!
Yup, finally back, well the finally part is that I’m finally writing. I’ve been home since May 10th. I was originally supposed to get back on the 14th but I changed the plans (with the help of my sister) to come home early and surprise my mom for Mother’s Day. She was very surprised and happy to see me! I think she thought she was seeing a ghost. So, it worked. haha. I love surprises.
I was just going to write that I’ve been back for 3 weeks, but really I looked at the calendar and it’s only been 2? It feels like an eternity.
Today was a break through in my time readjusting. I finally broke down and wrote in my journal. It’s been soo hard getting back into things here. The best way to describe it is that I feel like a hermit crab that left its shell and came back, but couldn’t fit in it anymore. I came back a new completely changed person but didn’t even realize to what depths and what that meant until I was back where I came from. So, it’s been really hard.
The ironic thing is that I’m going through the same silent world of adjustment I went through getting adjusted to the DR. And it’s just as hard, but harder I think. Because here, I’m back to familiar stuff. You could say nothing’s new, but it all is. I stare at things like a 5 year old that’s seeing her world for the first time. And I stop and smell almost every flower. And I drive almost below the speed limit just staring at my surroundings until I realize there’s a line of cars behind me and maybe I should pick it up a little or get run over. So back to the readjustment. So, the first time it was new country, new everything, and new language. So, I was silent and frustrated at trying to speak. But the ironic part of this transition is it’s old country, old everyone, and same language, but I’m still not speaking. Now, what I mean by this is I’m not speaking about my feelings of readjusting. Today was the first day I broke down and talked to someone other than my parents about what’s going on inside of me. There’s no way to explain it, so I will not begin to try. I’m a new person, and I’m still learning what that means, and about my new self. If anyone reading has lived abroad for a long period of time, or has any insight into what I’m going through, please shoot me an email and let me know. allyson.raker@gmail.com I’d love to hear from anyone right about now. I’m a little lonely, and trying to fit back in. More to come later. Don’t know if I warned you in a blog, but I always write loads after trips, and this was a long trip. So, there is definitely a lot to come.
And again, thank you very much those who read this. Every once in a while someone new lets me know that they were reading the whole time I was gone. It makes me so happy to find that out. Especially because then, when I come back, I don’t have to start at day one to explain what I was up to while I was gone.
I’d love to get together and talk with anyone in the area, to “t about l,” talk about life, as Christie says.
