hey~

hey everyone who's been reading!

here's a quick update, i've been a lot of places....

I moved up to NY to live with my sister and brother-in-law about 40 min north of the city, was there for the summer. I had a job as a Yoga Advisor at a studio called YogaWorks, and met some amazing people. Bounced all around while I was there, to Penn State for Olga's delivery (my Mexican friend) she had a little baby boy, went home to MD a few times, and then went to Dewey Beach with the fam!! Then I went to Phoenix, AZ for a spiritual retreat on the Hopi Indian Lands- very cool - complete with sweat lodge. Now I'm back up in NY, currently working at a sweet tennis club on the Sound and just watching people hit tennis balls around!! ~

~

Blogging is back!!

I just wanted to start up the blogs again. It's getting to be that time to travel again, there are only about 5 weeks left of school...ever!

I'll graduate, go kayaking for a week or so in South Carolina for a class about beach literature, then follow this heart of mine where ever we decide to go.

I'll be off to many places, so I figured I'd start blogging even if only a little to let you know where in the world is Allyson? It may become like finding Waldo, or Carmen Sandiego. Look forward to some interesting posts, hasta luego amigos!

Love

Thank you to everyone who has read these blogs. I may say that every time, but it is only because I truly mean it. I cannot express enough gratitude for the feedback I get from people who have read them. It uplifts me up to no bounds, and grants me another stepping stone on this journey of love. I thank you and wish you love, love that we cannot even comprehend, love that also knows no bounds. Thank you for reading, and know that I am at peace, content and joyful on my journey. The past turmoil I had described has gone, and it's been replaced with complete peace. Amazing. Thanks for reading.

With love, from

Allyson

To mi great friends

To all ye great friends still looking for new blogs,

Thank you, first of all. I hear once and a while from someone that they check for blogs more often than I seem to be putting up a new one, so for that I apologize.

Since I’ve been back, I re-read a lot of them and it was really neat for me, so I hope it was as neat for you to read them. People have commented on how personal they are, a neighbor even so much as didn’t read them because she felt bad, like she was reading my diary, something too personal. Well, don’t worry, because I wrote them so that you would have an idea of all that I went through. I wrote them knowing and hoping that you’d read them. So, although they were indeed, very personal, I wanted to share that with you.

As personal as some seem, as I’ve been back I’ve realized they just skimmed the surface of stuff I went through and learned from being gone. I’m writing to say that I came back a different person. Completely. I’m still me, it’s just that every day is one step deeper into what that really means. I wanted to write this to let you know what’s going on with me. I’ve been back since May 10^th and it has taken this long to finally be able to put into words, no, grasp what changes I have gone through and been going through. People say some amazing stuff about college and studying abroad, but I don’t always believe things until I live through them. They were right. These have been an amazing 3 years of my life. Thanks to all of you long time friends who have been watching me grow. When I was little I had a picture in my room that said, “To love something is to give it room enough to grow.” I truly believe that. So, I say thank you to all of you for giving me that room, and that undying love. You make me smile.

So, please bear with me if I seem different, good or bad. You may encounter me on a day when I just feel intolerant, just need to vent about all that is going through my mind. It seems to be something I just cannot control after trips like these. You may encounter me on a day when I’m very negative, or just need to talk about the things I don’t agree with in America, or the world. But, you could also get me on an awesome day, and I hope that’s true for you. The bad ones are starting to get outnumbered by the good. It’s been hard getting back. When you see outside of the box, you don’t want to go back in. Thanks for listening, all of you. As important as giving someone room to grow is, it’s also so precious to be there when that person is ready to share. I’ve got to thank everyone who’s been there for me through all of this. It’s appreciated more than you know. And everyone reading is included because if you’re reading, it’s pretty likely we’ve talked, and that is so special to me. thanks friend.

To give a hug is to get a hug, and love is what makes the world go round.

How Allyson got her groove back!

Ok, so my last blog was pretty sad, but that’s where I was right then, and I’m pretty honest when I write these things.

Well, the next day was a huge turn around. On Thursday I called Genesee Valley to see if they were still hiring for the summer, they said yes, fax in an application today and we’ll call you! They were really excited and so was I. So, I spent that day fixing up my resume, I wrote a cover letter, did the app and faxed everything in. On Friday I was interviewed twice, back to back, and hired on the spot. I’m moving in today (Sunday) and training starts tomorrow!!

So, I’m going to be a counselor of the high adventure sleepover camp for older campers and we’ll be out in the woods all week canoeing, backpacking, rock climbing and mountain biking and all kinds of awesome stuff! So, if you can’t tell, I’m pretty psyched!

Training starts tomorrow, and I can’t wait!!!

I leave you with this blog, because as my sister put it, “you’re going to be out in the bush!” and will not be writing for a while.

Hope everyone is having an awesome summer and gets to fun stuff!

I'm BACK

I’m baack!

Yup, finally back, well the finally part is that I’m finally writing. I’ve been home since May 10^th. I was originally supposed to get back on the 14^th but I changed the plans (with the help of my sister) to come home early and surprise my mom for Mother’s Day. She was very surprised and happy to see me! I think she thought she was seeing a ghost. So, it worked. haha. I love surprises.

I was just going to write that I’ve been back for 3 weeks, but really I looked at the calendar and it’s only been 2? It feels like an eternity.

Today was a break through in my time readjusting. I finally broke down and wrote in my journal. It’s been soo hard getting back into things here. The best way to describe it is that I feel like a hermit crab that left its shell and came back, but couldn’t fit in it anymore. I came back a new completely changed person but didn’t even realize to what depths and what that meant until I was back where I came from. So, it’s been really hard.

The ironic thing is that I’m going through the same silent world of adjustment I went through getting adjusted to the DR. And it’s just as hard, but harder I think. Because here, I’m back to familiar stuff. You could say nothing’s new, but it all is. I stare at things like a 5 year old that’s seeing her world for the first time. And I stop and smell almost every flower. And I drive almost below the speed limit just staring at my surroundings until I realize there’s a line of cars behind me and maybe I should pick it up a little or get run over. So back to the readjustment. So, the first time it was new country, new everything, and new language. So, I was silent and frustrated at trying to speak. But the ironic part of this transition is it’s old country, old everyone, and same language, but I’m still not speaking. Now, what I mean by this is I’m not speaking about my feelings of readjusting. Today was the first day I broke down and talked to someone other than my parents about what’s going on inside of me. There’s no way to explain it, so I will not begin to try. I’m a new person, and I’m still learning what that means, and about my new self. If anyone reading has lived abroad for a long period of time, or has any insight into what I’m going through, please shoot me an email and let me know. allyson.raker@gmail.com I’d love to hear from anyone right about now. I’m a little lonely, and trying to fit back in. More to come later. Don’t know if I warned you in a blog, but I always write loads after trips, and this was a long trip. So, there is definitely a lot to come.

And again, thank you very much those who read this. Every once in a while someone new lets me know that they were reading the whole time I was gone. It makes me so happy to find that out. Especially because then, when I come back, I don’t have to start at day one to explain what I was up to while I was gone.

I’d love to get together and talk with anyone in the area, to “t about l,” talk about life, as Christie says.

LOVING LIFE!! Almost home!!

I now have three names. Allyson, alison (with spanish accent) and eelison (I was renamed by the grandmother here). Oh, and there are 3 Allysons in the program here, so I'm also Raker. When I was in the hospital that became Raver on all the medical forms. I'm gonna develop a complex before this is all over!!

Update to the nicknames: My host family started calling me rubia now, and apparently I look FRENCH, so i'm also la francesa. woohhoo. Now I definitely have a complex. Let's see how many more nicknames I can pick up in the 2 weeks that are left, my who's hardly ever had a nickname in her whole life!!